Because drugs have become a major epidemic in this conrty, I'm reaching out to parents with some pointers to help recognize warning signs, handle emotions and prayers. I know the pain you are in and I'm praying for all those you out there that have an addicted or prodigal child. I hope some of what I've written will help. You can leave a comment or e-mail me at anitawriter7@yahoo.com and put Prodigal in the subject line. Excerpt from Letters to God on a Prodigal Son
Dear Father,
I feel as if I'm
caught up in a tornado. I don't know how to get out. Everywhere I turn, there’s
a problem. Ben told me that he wasn’t going to do drugs any more, but can I
believe him? If we pull him out of school, we’ll waste $20,000 dollars and
three years heading towards this destination swallowed up in a snap! If we
leave him there, the problem may get worse. What should we do Lord? Keep him
there or pull him out? Even my husband, Holbrook,
agrees that it’s time for me to go down and see what’s up.
I don't know
where we went wrong. We sent him to a Christian school, raised him in a
Christian home, and I stayed home to be with him instead of going to work. How
did this happen? He told me he stopped smoking pot. Maybe he did for a while,
but he always seems to start up again. I thought things were good with him before
he left for Radiology school. This was such a great opportunity for him to get
into the field he wanted. Maybe it was a mistake to send him down there, too
many temptations. I hope this is just a little slip up, and he’ll get back on
track.
Lessons Learned: These were
further warning signs. Not only was Ben mismanaging his money, but he was
gullible. He was willing to put himself at risk for the sake of others who took
advantage of him. Because Ben didn’t judge people accurately, he believed
people who were not trustworthy. He wanted to be accepted by others and was
willing to do things that were risky. Our wayward son was using poor judgment,
probably because his thinking was clouded—more so than I knew.
Suggestions: Ben needed to be more
accountable for his finances when he was at home and away. Written records of his
spending needed to be instituted earlier in his life. Although I helped Ben
with making a budget, the deeper issue was his vulnerability—lending money to please others.
My husband and I needed to probe more and not allow this, even if Ben didn’t
like it.
In addition, Ben
wasn’t willing to talk about the reasons why he did things, so we didn’t understand
some of his issues. However, we could have explored other avenues in our
communication to open him up more and probe further. I always thought of him as
a “good boy” and trusted him.
Scriptures and Promises: During this time, fear
and doubt haunted me. I continually talked to God and tried to hold on to some
promises. My stomach flip-flopped, though I believed God could work on Ben and
put him on the right path. These verses helped me from falling into despair:
- “You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You” (Isaiah 26:3). This was a far cry from the actual situation, but I was learning, step by step, to trust God and believe He would eventually transform this terrible mess into something good. It took a lot of time in prayer before I could feel at peace with myself and God.
- “God works all things together for good for those who are called according to his purposes” (Romans 12:1). Though I wavered in this belief, I always came back to it. No matter what Ben went though, God could work it out for good. The problem was: would Ben allow God to work in his life? I hoped so.
- “And my God shall supply all my needs according to his riches and glory” (Philippians 4:19). God’s supplies are abundant, and I called upon Him day and night to get me through this emotional time and to keep me from getting really depressed.
- “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths” (Proverbs 3:5).This was one of my all time favorite verses, and it helped me to stay sane when I just didn’t understand why Ben was making such a major mistake in his life.
